Humorous Situations
by nikscoolg
Summary: Harry and crew get into numerous humorous situations. Please read and find out.
1. Chapter 1 Part 1

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. It belongs to J K Rowling.

 **Author note:** This is unbetaed. Thank you for reading.

 **Oh My!**

The fourth year potion class was first thing on monday morning. Even though this class was the most dreaded by all the non slytherin witches and wizards, it can never exceed the dread one Harry Potter would feel while entering the dungeons.

As usual, the doors to the classroom opened with bang when Professor Severus Snape entered.

He started the class by writing the instructions to the potion they were going to brew today. After that, Snape had everyone scrambling to gather ingredients.

Once everybody had their ingredients, the students started brewing the potion in silence. The potion had been a volatile one and required quite a bit of concentration.

Harry and Ron buckled up and made sure to follow the instructions as perfectly as they could. They didn't want to give Snape any more reasons to dock points off from Gryffindor.

On the side of their table, Hermione was chopping the root into fine pieces.

Over half of the lecture had been finished and all of the students including Harry were focused on their work. Professor Snape had been walking between the aisles and keeping an eye on the students.

Every now and then, Professor Snape could be heard muttering about the work done as he passed by the tables.

So it came as a surprise to everyone when the cauldron on the table in front of Harry and Ron blasted.

Snape went to the table immediately and vanished the mess. He send Nevile and Seamus to hospital wing as the potion had spilled on them. It had caused boils on their skin where the potion had touched.

After tending to the matter, Professor Snape turned towards Harry and snapped at him, "Potter! Why did you not stop Longbottom from adding the wrong ingredient?"

Harry just looked at him in shock but then answered, "Sir, I had been working on my potion and did not realise that Neville was adding it."

It seemed that Professor Snape was not happy with the answer and said, "Tsk tsk Potter. It seems that you do not help your friends when it really matters. 50 points from Gryffindor and a weeks detention with me."

With these words went back to his desk in the front.

Harry Potter hearing the accusation was seething inside and finally when the dam broke he exclaimed, "Are you fucking serious?!?!?!"

As soon as Harry said this everybody were sitting at the edge of their seats with bated breath to see the reaction of their professor.

Professor Snape's face was perfectly stoic. His expression did not even flicker when he closed the distance between the front desk and table occupied by Harry and Ron.

Professor Snape leaned down and was so close to Harry that his face was just few inches in front of Harry.

Snape's voice was so low that Harry had to strain his ears to hear what he had said. But when Harry heard it, he wished he had been deaf.

The words that seemed to be echoing in Harry's head were:

"I haven't fucked Black since we graduated Hogwarts."

After saying this sentence, Professor Snape went back to the front table and then said, "Oh and Potter, for your comment, you will have a months detention with me."

But this was not heard by Harry. He was busy trying to keep himself from puking. Harry had turned into a shade of green. He managed for almost 5 minutes from throwing up but then ended up running to the nearest washroom.


	2. Chapter 1 Part 2

Disclaimer: See the first chapter for disclaimers.

 **Chapter 1 part 2**

Harry had spend the entire evening in the bathroom emptying the contents of his stomach. He did not show his face even for the dinner. No matter what he could not remove the image of today's potion class.

He came downstairs to the gryffindor common room. Nobody was present there as everyone had gone to Great Hall for dinner.

Harry was pacing on the carpet in front of the fireplace. But he was still restless. He did not know whether Snape was telling the truth or not and this was eating away at him. Snape's expression during the lecture had not betrayed him and he seemed to be telling the truth.

'It can't be true. There is no way he would do that... Especially with him for Merlin's sake!' Thought Harry while continuing to angrily pace.

Harry stopped abruptly in the middle of common room. 'I have to know the truth and there is only one person who can tell me.' Harry finally decided.

Harry wrote a short note and sent the letter via Hedwig.

Later at midnight, when everyone in the dorm fell asleep, Harry went downstairs to the common room. The common was deserted. He had received back a reply earlier to have a meeting here.

Harry had to wait for about 15 minutes before the fire place turned green. A face appeared in the fire. This face belonged to the infamous escapee Sirius Black.

Harry scrambled to sit in front of the fire and said, "Sirius"

"Harry… are you alone?" There was urgency in his voice.

"Err… yes. There is nobody except me over here." Replied Harry.

"Is everything ok there at Hogwarts Harry? What was the urgent matter you needed to talk with me about and you couldn't write in your letter?" Asked Sirius. He seemed worried as if someone would appear anytime. Sirius was also going through various scenarios that may have happened in the months Harry had been at Hogwarts.

Harry opened and closed his mouth a couple of times and imitated a fish. He could not decide how to ask the question that had been bugging him. He tried asking a couple of times but no words would come out.

"Sirius... Have you by any chance have done anything to Snape while you were in school?" Blurted out Harry finally.

Sirius stayed silent for few minutes. He was thinking about his seventh year when he had led Snape to shrieking shack during full moon. Sirius was looking at Harry with wide eyes. He had not been expecting this question from Harry.

"What. How?" Were the only words that came from Sirius. It was now Sirius' turn to imitate a fish.

'How in world did he find about that?!?' Was the only thought running through his head but then Sirius decided to reply Harry.

"Harry… It was just a mistake." Stammered Sirius. He was scared of Harry's reaction.

Harry sat back in front of fire with a shocked expression. "I… I thought he was lying. How could you Sirius! I never thought you would do something like this. Especially with him." Harry said the last part in a disgusted tone.

Harry had turned into a shade of green and it seemed that he would puke right there.

"Harry... I was young. I made a mistake. Ok. But I know what I did was wrong." Sirius tried to explain seriously.

"Mistake! Mistake! Of course it was a mistake." Harry was climbing his soapbox. It was very difficult for him to contain his anger to not shout and wake the whole tower. Then a sudden thought came to his mind and Harry asked, "Did my father know about this?"

Sirius tried to look anywhere but Harry. He answered in an ashamed voice, "Yes. He knew. In fact, he managed to prevent it from happening."

"Sirius. You mean to tell me that dad stopped you from fucking Snape! How did he managed to do that?" Harry asked sarcastically.

But it seemed Sirius did not hear the sarcasm in Harry's voice and replied, "Well he stopped Snape from going into Shrieking Shack."

Harry, who had not expected the answer, was stunned and bluttered out, "You and Snape were going to fuck in Shrieking Shack!!!"

Sirius was stunned by the outburst and could only say in confusion, "Wha?.."

But when the statement clicked with the brain Sirius exclaimed, "What in the world made you think that I… that I would fuck HIM!!!! Him of all people!"

Suddenly Sirius came to his senses and came to conclusion about what happened. He found that somehow he and Harry misunderstood the conversation. He burst out laughing. His laughter did not seem to end.

Hearing Sirius' laughter brought Harry out of his shock. But he could only look at Sirius in confusion. Harry was not able to understand why he would laugh at this serious matter.

Sirius suddenly looked back in alarm. And then again turned back to Harry quickly. "Listen Harry. I have to go now. Looks like someone is coming. But rest assured that I have not fuck snivillious. Never have and never will. Bye Harry." With that Sirius left and the fire turned normal.

Harry stayed near the fire place for a long time before roaring "Snape" in a loud voice.

Author Note: Thank you for reading.


End file.
